Now that the winter season has once again come to pass, here at Method we are basically facing a vacuum of time which somehow needs to be filled (well, to be perfectly honest we are pretty busy making magazines but snowboarding is far on the horizon for most of you, so you get my point). Anyway, we looked at the most outstanding achievements snowboarders have, uhm, achieved while setting new standards for mankind this past year for snowboarding's most ridiculously awesome (and by that we mean worthless) accolades: the METHOD AWARDS!
So here are some awards that were awarded at our red carpet event (in our minds) that basically don't make much sense and are a bit obscure, but maybe you will learn about something new. Yup, Method is the new classroom. Cue the drumroll…
Jim Morrison Award – Frank April for being a boss with a beard. Dude is definitely a rider on the storm, and thoroughly entertaining on and off his board.
Lance Armstrong Award - Lucas Magoon, cuz right when you thought this guy's blip was off the radar and he retired, we got to see a good amount of him again this season. And who doesn't love to watch Gooner ride? Kid's still got a totally unique style and his pterodactyl-like arms make you wonder if it's natural or does this hot-steppin' puppet have strings attached. And it goes without saying, Gooner was doped up all along (but his balls are definitely still a pair).
Lance Mountain Award - Sebi Mvller for fueling his art with boarding and fueling his boarding with art. This complimentary passion fuels him to keep tearing up the mountain, the streets and his canvas. Plus he doodles on people's skin now as a tattoo artist. The Gat Enterprise is on the rise!
Kim Kardashian Award – Shaun White for getting more attention than he deserves for doing dumb shit in the newspaper and finally becoming a fully fledged "rock star". Congrats, Shaun Blanco, here is another trophy for your collection to show off to your Hollywood friends.
Vaslav Nijinsky Award - Davo Struber for being an eccentric ballerina on a board with more finesse than the rest. I'm sure Diaghilev would have taken him under his wing, made him famous and touched his sweet little Austrian ass.Stan Lee Award - Yawgoons, for being a crew with supernatural powers from the least likely place, Rhode Island! Just marvel (see what we did there?) at the astounding feats of radness they accomplish in their edits!
Sir Douglas Mawson Award- Xavier de la Rue, like the young Australian explorer, Xavier has run off to chase penguins and shred icebergs in the the most demanding environment of all: Antarctica. This dude has the drive of Reinhold Messner and the balls of an Alaskan billy goat.Schengen Award - YouGoFirst crew, for moving east to west and then back again, thus being considered less Eastern Bloc in the end. Look out for their new movie with a veritable cornucopia of eastern and western Euro rippers!
Force-Feeding Award - Postland, for keeping you constantly updated with edits, basically getting you so hooked on hammers that you need to constantly check the feed to see if there is something new to watch. Mark Zuckerberg would be proud.
Runner-up: The Crap Show
Edward Snowden Award - Tyler Chorlton doesn't believe the lies. He lets the truth be known on the regular and risks his facebook account regardless. Plus this award's name has "snow" in it, and Tyler straight up slays that shit when he is not hanging in his giant sweatpants.
Bill Cosby Award – Scott Stevens, for keeping us entertained on an almost-daily basis and being a nice, friendly, neighborly guy.
Trevor Andrew Award - Jed Anderson for following his fellow Canuck's footsteps and moving to NYC to take a big ol' bite out of the Big Apple.
Monsanto Award - Videograss, yes, we know Monsanto is evil as fuck but just like Videograss, when they round up a crew the grass grows well and the weeds all die. Plus, they definitely run the snowboard movie industry and are too big to fail at this point. I guess we could have called this the "Manure Award' but that's just shit.
LeBron James Award - Mark McMorris, for being a fuckin' athlete and slam-dunking comps while staying a nice guy and being the fruit in the basket most likely to take the spotlight off the Flying Tomato at the next Olympics.
Ted Bundy Award - Nils Arvidsson, for killing, raping and kidnapping everyside of the mountain... and then fucking it up some more, even after it's dead.
Rad Dad Award - Hans Alhund, parent/teacher meetings are going to be fun with this funny ass mofo who likes to get rad, wears kitty sweaters and is a father for the Bastards (as well as mini Haze).
Felix Baumgartner Award - Will Jackaways, for regularly dropping off ridiculously high places. His knees will never forgive him... But then again, "sometimes you need to be really high to realize how small you really are".
Santiago Calatrava Award - Mike Basich, for being a visionary, a boarder, a builder, and an architect who's now built himself his own private Idaho (i.e. a chairlift) at Area 241 . No man is an island, but Basich almost pulls it off!
MALE RIDER of the YEAR- Louif Paradis, for CRUSHING & DOMINATING. 'Nuff said. For real.
FEMALE RIDER of the YEAR- Desiree Melancon, for putting out the best part we've ever seen from a person with two X chromosomes, and also cuz we dig her style.
MALE ROOKIE of the YEAR- Len Jorgensen is so fun to watch with all his slick sides and futuristic grab-age. You can be sure you'll be seeing lots of this young man in the future. We love Lenny Powers!
FEMALE ROOKIE of the YEAR – Rachida Aoluad, this Dutch chica crushes rail comps, just wait for "Thraschida"'s full part in Postland's new movie!
Aight, that's it. Sorry to all of those we forgot... But right now we have to roll up the red carpet and make room for the dog show that is scheduled after us. See ya next year, suckas!
Words by ADT, TAG & K-LO