THE METHOD AWARDS
For months now our HQ has been abuzz with speculation about which riders would win the prestigious Method Awards. Votes have been tallied so here they are, the best in the business of shred (read: whose bribes of alcohol, drugs and promises of wanton sex we accepted). Besides the typical Rider and Video Part awards, we decided to also bestow glory on the riders who contributed to the multi-hued world of snowboarding in their own unique ways. Cue drum roll…
Male Rider of the Year : Gigi Rüf
Leaving your lifelong sponsor just before the season starts would be an enormous hurdle for most riders. Not Gigi Rüf though. Everyone's favorite Austrian blasted out two spine-tingling parts (Absinthe & Pirates) and bagged editorial coverage galore this winter, not to mention a plethora of ads. Plus he is getting his own movie courtesy of Volcom, a la Subjekt Haakonsen. He is an upstanding gentleman in every sense of the word and we have no doubt the accolades will keep rolling in for Gigi Smalls. Fuck yea, dude!
Female Rider of the Year: Jenny Jones
The always fabulous Jenny Jones won this pretty much hands down -- her accomplishments were colossal and varied last winter. She not only kicked some Yankee ass taking X-Games gold, twice(!) along with a third gold in Euro X, she also pulled together a sick part in Stance and showed what a determined female is capable of at Superpark, with monstrous FS airs on the monster hip. Oh, and she’s from the UK. They grow up riding dry slopes there. 'Nuff said.
Male Video Part of the Year: Bode Merrill
Bode Merrill is a really tall dude who is really, really talented at snowboarding. Making his debut with Absinthe last season alongside one of the heaviest rosters in snowboarding is no mean feat. But Bode’s face-melting skills in both the backcountry and the streets speak volumes. Real loud volumes. Loud enough to earn him the closer in Neverland. How about them apples?
Female Video Part of the Year: Raewyn Reid
Raewyn's part in Stance was one of the most impressive things we saw this year. Filmed in only 28 days and clocking in at a whopping 7 minutes, it contains technical backcountry spins, legit tricks on legit street rails, natural terrain hits and a massive sender over the gaping maw of a crevasse. Not only that, this Canadian chica ripped it all with style, finesse and extraordinary board control. Raewyn will take over women's snowboarding in the next couple years, you heard it here first!
Male Rookie of the Year: Halldor Helgason
The Icelandic kid with the funny name was everywhere this season. After showing up as a blip on our radar last year (Fresh Meat in issue 9.1), Halldor confirmed his absurdly technical rail-stomping, kicker-crushing brilliance with two standout parts, a true gem in Factor Films' They Came From... and another banger in Standard Films' Black Winter. Stay tuned to this space for more on Halldor soon.
Female Rookie of the Year: Jess Kimura
A young Canuck from the backwaters of Canada came to our attention this year. This young lass is Jessica Kimura and she’s on on a one-way train to shred superstardom. Jess’s part in Peep Show (our favorite all-girls production of the year) blew our collective minds and confirmed to the world that she has, in fact, arrived.
The High School Yearbook Award for Most Likely to Succeed: Jed Anderson
Jed Bradford Anderson is the Golden Wild Child of snowboarding, a mad mash-up of preternatural board control, narrow stance, crazed hair and balls-out tweaked style. His section this year was arguably the heaviest rail part ever, garnering Jed the Jedi the closer in Get Real, Transworld's movie. Some might scoff at the lack of aerial maneuvers but now that Jed's finally finished school prepare to witness his complete domination of every facet of this wonderful thing called snowboarding.
The Lovechild of a Kubrick, Warhol and Michelangelo Three-way Award for Most Creative Riding: Scott Stevens
Let us for a moment entertain the belief that if men copulated with other men they could make babies. If Kubrick, Warhol and Michelangelo got into some kind of crazy bodily fluid-swapping fuck fest their baby would be a creative genius. That baby would be Scott Stevens. Okay, so the premise of this award is unbelievable and totally absurd. But so is Scotty's riding. If creativity was a country, Mr. Stevens would be its president.
The Jimi Hendrix Award for Biggest Gypsy: LNP
Gypsies live a nomadic lifestyle. They travel around the world in caravans, robbing and scamming tourists in order for the next generation of gypsies to do the same. Laurent lives a nomadic lifestyle like that of a gypsy. He is also French-Canadian which means that, like gypsies, he’s not too be trusted...around your spot that is, lest he blow that shit up! It's no wonder he started dressing like a gypsy and, in doing so, spawning countless imitators and creating a tectonic shift in the once G'd-up-from-the-feet-up world of shred fashion.
The I Want to Make Love to a Tree Award for Eco-Friendliness: Nicolas Müller & Jeremy Jones
Making love to a tree would be hard and painful work. It would be a bitch to lube up and the splinters would definitely pose some problems. This, however, certainly hasn’t stopped Nico and JJ. In fact, Jeremy has a movie coming soon about his love of the environment called Deeper. Mmmm. We think it’s great that everyone is doing their part to fuck the environment. People have forgotten that she needs love too and if we don’t start pleasuring her (a lot) more she’s going to leave our sorry asses. Basically, Mother Nature puts out when you do. Just look at Nico and Jeremy, they seem to get all the best stuff.
The M-E-T-H-O-D Man (For Short Mr. Meth) Award: Mark Landvik
Lando is this year’s proud recipient of the M-E-T-H-O-D Man Award. Mr. Meth throws down the most boned-out donkey kicks in the biz, bringing utter style to our favorite trick.
The Grape Smuggler Award for Tightest Pants: Jon Kooley
You can’t tell if it's skin or a pant leg. His pants are tighter than a condom on a horse and that’s why we love Jon Kooley.
The Mugatu Award for Being Really, Really, Ridiculously Good-Looking: Kari Opsal Maeland & Andreas Wiig
Kari Opsal Maeland and Andreas Wiig are the hottest people in snowboarding right now. Their Aryan genes are a reminder of the superiority of Scandinavian people when it comes to physical beauty. Next season we hope to honor them with a centerfold spread each.
The Elmo Award for Cuddliest Am: Niels Schack
Splice together a Furby with Elmo and you're getting close to the cuddliness of Niels Schack. This cute-as-a-button little hellion is like a plush teddybear and the ladies just eat it up. The little bastard knows he’s cute too, and uses it as a cover for his hell-raising ways. If there’s trouble at a contest, find Niels. It's always his fault.
The IOC's Worst Nightmare Award: Nate Bozung
Nutz is a modern day anti-hero. With the Olympics all said and done, we are bound to witness a slew of snowboarders coming off as wholesome, clean-cut athletes. Excuse us while we vomit. Count on Bozung to keep it drunk, crunk and never bunk when alcohol-free, Target-sponsored Christians take the limelight.
The Tony Montana Award for Most Powder Consumption: Jeremy Jones
We know he’s already got one award but Jeremy is the man. With his new movie project Deeper on the go, there is no other snowboarder who has sampled as much powder as the magnificent Jeremy Jones. He’s also launching his own line of boards (aptly named Jones Snowboards) so he’s going to have even more money for the 100% grade-A "yayo".
The Eazy-E Award for Biggest Baller: Lucas Magoon
Straight outta Compton Vermont, a crazy mutha fucker named Gooner. This kid looks like he straight up stepped out of a G-Unit video clip. XXXL tall tees and mad sag? Check. Iced out neck and wrist? Check. Jailhouse tats? Check. All he needs now are some proper fronts and a recording contract with Death Row records.
The Keith Richards Award for Eternal Radness: JP Walker
We couldn’t dispense awards without throwing kudos to JP Walker. Dude is rapidly approaching middle age yet still continues to hold his own, dropping one of the sickest parts of the year in the Stepchild movie. Every trick switch, WHAT? Unlike Richards though, JP attributes his longevity to his avoidance of the party scene. So kiddies, just say no and one day you too will receive a Method Award. Or say yes instead, you’ll probably win one anyway.
The Michael Jordan Free Throw Award for Most Consistent Rider: Torstein Horgmo
T-Bags is a consistently awesome Norwegian Viking who possesses an uncanny ability to annihilate parks and slopestyle courses with freak-like precision. Each season he pushes limits further, linking trick after trick after trick as evidenced in his part in Black Winter. And unlike Aeroflot, Torstein's landing gear never fails.
The Jason Voorhees Award for Silent Assassination: Big Lou Paradise
Jason Voorhees wore a hockey mask and slaughtered generations of teen camp counselors in the dead of night. He never said a word and was modest about his achievements. Louis-Felix Paradis is the snowboarding equivalent of Jason (minus the hockey mask and brutal slayings). Under the cloak of darkness he sneaks in and lays waste to whatever crosses his path. Never one to claim, Big Lou sneaks back into the night, only to reappear at the next nasty piece of frozen metal with his deadly bag of tricks.
The John J. Rambo Award for Killing It indiscriminately in All Terrains: Eero Ettala
Eero continues to consistently stomp moves that are hotter than his Momma’s sauna. Street, pow, massive city booter contests and natural terrain – the Flying Finn straight up kills 'em all with no remorse, just like Metallica.
Voila, it's a wrap boys and girls, the METHOD Awards 09/10 are in the history books. Tune in at the end of next season to find out who took home the, uhm... "prestigious" awards next year!
by Mark Rosenberg & TAG
Illustration by Malin Persson Jarskär