Limited Edition Terror Snowboards Weed Model

Sorry to interrupt your summer by the sea but there is a terror alert going on that we thought we should warn you about! We checked in on the boys behind the angry bear at Terror Snowboards in Russia and decided to do a mid-summer Product Of The Week together, although in this case it's more like a Product Of The Weed.

Terror offers quite a quiver of boards for being such a young cub of a company (especially one run by a bunch of hooligans). One board that they harvested as part of their 13/14 line caught our eye in particular: the Weed board! The word TERROR is meticulously laid out with chunky nuggets of weed on a medium-soft deck with a flat camber that is ideal for park and street slangin'.So, what is "terror", exactly? Terror is defined as something that brings you to the point of extreme fear. So, what causes terror? Monsters, taxes, no wifi, weekend lift lines, broken bones, fear of failure, the future, bearers of bad news, pizza with no cheese, extremists, Arabs, Russians, Cubans, Americans, the guy at the end of your block that always scratches his ass and then sniffs his hand.… I guess a lot of things could cause terror. But this kind of abject, deep-seated, primal, all-encompasing, inexorable terror is a very special kind of fear. For you see, deep in the dense forests of Russia hides a bear named Terror, a bear with a growl as nasty as his bite, a bear that is here to scare off the fake, the weak and the bullshit that soils the driven white snow of snowboarding.

Yeah, that's great, but as I scratch my scabby chin and wonder, "why would weed cause terror"? Weed usually makes you all mellow-like, blazed on kush, sitting on your tush for extended periods of time, cooking up falafel philosophies, rambling on derailed trains of thought about other galaxies and beyond, punctuated by endless statements that always begin the same way: "You know what would be sick?"

Dear lord, maybe it's time I shut my meathole for a second and showed you some boarding... Peep this edit from the Russian Woodstock shredfest BY/\CTOK that the boys at Terror prepared for you, and we can continue rolling this falafel along as soon as you're done watching.So, where were we? Ah, yes, weed + terror... One thing it does make me think of is the US government-produced piece of alarmist propaganda fom the 30's called Reefer Madness, which presents "marijuana" (a completely fabricated word) as a terror that will drive you to confusion, paranoia, and perhaps even death. This stuff will have you walking the streets ready to kill for your next fix! Check the teaser:
Here is the full thing if you have time on your hands or you are about to burn one down.

Still, it doesn't answer my question: does weed cause terror? The accused Boston Marathon terrorists, the Sernayav brothers, apparently financed their plot with weed sales, but that whole story is shadier than a palm tree at midnight so let's move on...

Goverments like to claim that marijuana funds terrorists but doesn't America do exactly that, fund terrorists? I mean Osama Bin Laden was funded by the US to fight the Russians in the 80's. Now terrorist groups are receiving weapons & funds in Syria from the US. "Helping an enemy of your enemy does not necessarily make him your friend." It almost seems like keeping would-be terrorists in business is one of the goals of US foreign policy. Basically, the whole situation stinks of nasty-ass bong water. Maybe we should send the terorrists some weed instead of guns, then every terror plot will be stopped before it even starts!
Terror is a touchy subject but this video is terror-ble and quite creepy...
Sure, after smoking some chronic you might become a bit more clumsy, giggly or forgetful, as you are wandering around the less-frequented right side of your brain, where more analytical activities are less prioritized. Weed basically stretches time and expands the now, it helps you perceive the beauty of simplicity, the amazingness of the obvious, and then you catch yourself mesmerized by the pores on your face, staring in the mirror at 3 am... Am I hyping up weed a little too much here? Maybe, but like that old poster says, at least it's not crack!

So roll up a bone, blaze that mofo and head on over to so you can terrorize the slopes on a Terror Snowboard next season. Your local park and handrails are gonna be running for the hills when they see you coming!

(Dang, how hard is page going to get surveilled with all the names and links we listed, plus all the times we used the word "terror"... We're just snowboarders here, move along now, mr. NSA agent man!)