David Van Gessel is one radical snow shredder but since he got his ass broke off something proper around the middle of last season, he has no riding shots to show for his... ahem, hard work. While on the mend, DVG has followed in the rather large footsteps of Plato and Google, contemplating the most eyeball-piercing, face-melting, wondrously wild topics ever tweeted about on the World Wide Web-a-tron.
We figured we could save Van Gessel's overactive brain from itself and give him something fun to pass the time, a little thing we like to call Photo Tennis, where we throw "randumb" imagery at people and see how their gray matter responds to it. Fun for his brain, entertaining for you, it's a win-win situation all around.
This is Photo Tennis: Round 1, Van Gessel to serve!
DVG: I hate this more than skiers and maybe even clowns, did this guy start snowboarding to get on 3 flights to some shitty city to take 2 practice runs and 3 contests runs then take another 3 flights back home to tell his friends he ended up 24th? I'm not pissed at the guy himself, he's probably a good dude under a lot of sponsor pressure, but the whole FIS can go rape themselves...
DVG: KFC, just had some fucking love chicken! This also reminds me of a story my ex told me about how she was attacked by dogs when she was a kid, shit's messed up... She's still hot, though! 
DVG: Those glasses are way too thick, looks like he's trying to find Waldo. But this also reminds me of free drugs, new scars and shitty food. 
DVG: Money = Death, think things would go downhill fast if I was super rich. Think I'll get my grandma something nice. 
DVG: Danny Larsen's 20/21 season Pirate movie intro, haha. For real! Kinda makes me wanna party, this photo! 
DVG: This reminds me of that weird fucking guy on Supersize Me who eats like 5 Big Macs every day?! Fucking ridiculous, he's not even fat, he actually looked like that gay dude from Scooby Doo... and he should know that KFC or the ABC in Helsinki is where it's at, not fucking gross-ass Mickey D's.
DVG: Poor birds, those heartbreaking commercials trying to get your money out to save oily birds... I heard the oil spill was the equivalent to 73 million football fields, the guy who started measuring stuff with football fields should hang himself. 
DVG: Vote for Pedro? I don't know about this one. My dad was in the army for 11 years so he knows a lot about this stuff. Oh I know, something about an ABBA song about Waterloo. Next!
DVG: Who doesn't miss being 18, getting your first STD, your first wake-up next to a grenade, your first time puking in your friend's car, everyone is really into using condoms, but mostly just kissing in bars. I mean who, at some point in their lives, did not go out to dance and kiss girls? Nowadays it's all about just getting drunk and seeing which girl is DTF.
DVG: Reminds me of being 17, at a party in Austria where this "hippie" dude asked me, "Where you from, maaan?". I answered, "Holland", he replied, "No way maaan, I went to Amsterdam once." "Ah nice, so you hit up the coffee shops?" "What? No man, I don't like coffee, I was trying to find some weed shops, couldn't find them though..." Then he showed me his Bob Marley tattoo. Gotta love the Austrians!
DVG: Yeah for it, Hintertux teamshoot! Gotta love these two guys, even though Tyler looks like he's Amish or something that guy can shred! And L'arrog is like my brother, if I had to choose between sucking someone's dick or being killed, I would suck his.
DVG: Is this some veggie tofu shit? No idea what this is, maybe like a vegan fraternity in the States?
DVG: Whoa, looks kinda like Jar Jar Binks, man. Doesn't it? Trippy stuff...
DVG: Looks like some sort of bizarre, dick-sucking squid sex toy! Maybe when I'm drunk...
DVG: Afro Samurai, it's kind of scary how easy-going and quiet Asian people are, but their art is just fucking mental. I saw a Japanese girl on the internet put like 50 eels up her asshole, the weird thing was she was moaning like she was turned on... People are strange. 
DVG: Fuck... How much would you pay me to get in between that shit? What happens in Poland stays in Poland. 
DVG: Those vegan virgins, fuck I'm so happy you guys included this photo, now I can finally take the piss out of these guys. It's basically a boat full of dudes who don't know how to satisfy women... They dress in black to look like bad-asses, chase Japanese people and throw stinky bombs at them on their breaks between World of Warcraft sessions. I hope they get rammed by a whale and sink, that would ironic.
DVG: They use this photo on cigarette packs in India. I definitely wanna quit smoking and start snussin', but snus is illegal in Holland. They make weed, hash truffles and hookers legal but something that's 90% safer then smoking is illegal? Just because the goverment makes 10 times more money on cigarettes than snus... That's why I don't vote. 
DVG: Jimi Hendrix, Rolling Stones, Call of Duty, reminds me of my dad always watching war movies when I was a kid. Nobody could kill me when we played war back in the day, I was fucking Rambo, man, slittin' throats with plastic knives. 
DVG: Hahaha, fuck! Titty fuck, how bad-ass would it be if you titty-fucked a dog while telling him he's a good boy... "Ohh, you're a good boy, goooood... *shudder* boy..." This can't be for real, can it? This must be the Sea Shepherd's dog, cuz they've never seen real tits before so the whole crew just takes turns fucking this dog's tits. Next level shit, this is! You think it wears a bra? It totally should.
DVG: Tomorrow, next year, 50 years from now, who knows... I think it's best to take it day by day. I hope I make it long enough to have some awesome kids and a nice wife, posted up somewhere in Bali, till then I'll live day by day. What a buzzkill this is, man, right after that dog with full D cups, c'mon now. Seriously though, my friends and I lost a friend in an avalanche in Mayrhofen 5 years ago. After 5 years it's still weird thinking about it, especially cuz we lost someone dear to us doing the thing we all love the most in the world: snowboarding. Be grateful for everything you have and everybody that's in your life. How would you feel losing someone the day after you guys fought about who drank the last Coke in the fridge? Think about it. Enjoy the little things, commit to the big ones.
Portrait by Vanessa Andrieux