Behold! On this crisp page before you, we embrace the shit winds encircling this rock we call home and revel in the unaccountable maelstrom the Internet age has so #blessed us with. Here, in a brand new column we've introduced in Volume 16, we humbly submit a miscollection of baseless accusations, unfounded rumors and misanthropic musings, sporadically penetrated by a rogue Trojan Horse of brutal truth. Since we ran out of paper to print all the bullshit we came up with, we hereby offer you a display of gems that didn't make it in the mag. To be continued..
- Getting free stickers is pretty much the same thing as being sponsored.
- Watching a Slopestyle contest these days is about as exciting as any re-broadcast of Columbo.
- Snowboard media still holds the highest concentration of millionaires per capita. And the health insurance is great.
- Fun was cool back in 2006, but only for a couple of days.
- Snowboard tradeshows are a great opportunity to stay abstinent from booze and mischief.
- Kickflips are easier in hardboots. Actually, everything is easier in hardboots.
- El Nino is the only illegal immigrant welcomed by a majority of Americans.
- Use bleach to keep your goggle from getting foggy.
- Riding without highbacks makes you more likely to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon.
- Snowboarding needs more straight, white males.
- Pro tip for making friends: Don't help to build a spot. Just show up and ride it.
- Weekend warriors actually have more fun mid week. Unless they have a job.
- Rolling your pants up is a dead giveaway that you are stashing drugs.
- Safety meeting is the best we could come up with??
- Calling last run is the same as signing your death warrant.
- The more stickers you have on the board, the more likely you are not sponsored especially if there is a Method sticker.
- If you read the fine print, thermals are only effective when you fart, especially the one piece thermals.
-8/10 filmers had parents cover them up in bubble wrap so they wouldn’t get hurt snowboarding.
- tbc..