85% Bullshit #2

Behold! On this crisp page before you, we embrace the shit winds encircling this rock we call home and revel in the unaccountable maelstrom the Internet age has so #blessed us with. Here, in a brand new column we've introduced in Volume 16, we humbly submit a miscollection of baseless accusations, unfounded rumors and misanthropic musings, sporadically penetrated by a rogue Trojan Horse of brutal truth. Since we ran out of paper to print all the bullshit we came up with, we hereby offer you a display of gems that didn't make it in the mag. To be continued..
 

- Getting free stickers is pretty much the same thing as being sponsored.


- Watching a Slopestyle contest these days is about as exciting as any re-broadcast of Columbo.


- Snowboard media still holds the highest concentration of millionaires per capita. And the health insurance is great.


- Fun was cool back in 2006, but only for a couple of days.


- Snowboard tradeshows are a great opportunity to stay abstinent from booze and mischief.


- Kickflips are easier in hardboots. Actually, everything is easier in hardboots.


- El Nino is the only illegal immigrant welcomed by a majority of Americans.


- Use bleach to keep your goggle from getting foggy.


- Riding without highbacks makes you more likely to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon.


- Snowboarding needs more straight, white males.


- Pro tip for making friends: Don't help to build a spot. Just show up and ride it.


- Weekend warriors actually have more fun mid week. Unless they have a job.


- Rolling your pants up is a dead giveaway that you are stashing drugs.


- Safety meeting is the best we could come up with??


- Calling last run is the same as signing your death warrant.


- The more stickers you have on the board, the more likely you are not sponsored especially if there is a Method sticker.


- If you read the fine print, thermals are only effective when you fart, especially the one piece thermals.


 -8/10 filmers had parents cover them up in bubble wrap so they wouldn’t get hurt snowboarding.


- tbc..